1. ”I’ve slept with [X] guys.” Maybe she rounds up. Maybe she rounds down. Maybe she
can’t remember. Whatever the case may be, more than a few women have lied about
how many sexual partners they’ve had. Maybe she feels self-conscious. Maybe her
number is higher than yours. To increase the likelihood she’ll tell the truth,
make her confess first.
3. ”I
have never nor would I ever cheat on you.” Do
you remember that show on VH1, “Tough Love: Couples“? The number one cause of
screaming fights? Cheating. Or, more specifically, lying about cheating. It’s
not easy to tell someone when you’ve messed up; the fallout can be brutal.
Remember: What you don’t know can spare you.
4. “I
weight [X].” Here’s the thing. Women don’t lie about their weight
because of you. Their reasons for doing it have everything to do with them. Not
all women lie about their weight, but some do, and they do it for all kinds of
reasons. Because they want to weigh less, because they want to weigh more,
because they’re not sure and that number sounds about right. Women and their
weight are a mysterious relationship with which you may not want to interfere.
Take her word for it.
5. “Sure,
you can call me.” Sometimes, when we’re
face-to-face with a guy, and he’s asking us out on a first or for a second
date, it’s tough to, er, woman-up and say, “You know what? Um, no.” We don’t
want to be heartbreakers. We want to be nice. We’re sure you’ll get the message
when we never call you back.
6.
“I’ll be ready in a minute.” Listen, if before you
left the house to go out on a date, you had to shower, shave half your body,
slather yourself in moisturizer, apply 99 overpriced products, put on several
layers of makeup, flat-iron your hair, pick out the perfect outfit that makes
you look sophisticated/sexy/spectacular, it would take you a long time to get
ready, too. So, wait.
7. “I
don’t know.” We don’t know (ha!) if we’re going to get a lot of agreement
on this one, but we are of the opinion that a lot of times when a woman says,
“I don’t know,” she does, in fact, know. Women are intuitive like a nuclear
power plant is radioactive, and it is upon our internal sonars that we rely.
Mostly, we do know. We may not be ready to tell you.
8.
“That was delicious!” If you cooked, we don’t care how it
tastes. We will tell you we love it. Love us for that.
9. “I’m
fine.” We’re going to go out on a limb here and suggest this is
the single most common lie told by women to men. Or, you know, at the very
least it’s the lie we’ve told most often to men. We are emotional creatures!
Sometimes, we get upset! Maybe it’s because our Aries is in your Venus, maybe
it’s because we got promoted at work and we’re scared as hell about living up
to our own lofty goals, or maybe we’re in a mood. It’s up to you to figure out
if you want to walk into our minefield or keep a safe distance away. Usually,
your best bet is listening.
10. “It
was on sale.” It wasn’t. Deal with it.
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